Restoring Trust in Relationships

How do you get your ex back even after it’s in the open that you’ve cheated?

Most people say that when you have an affair that it’s the end for sure! I tend to disagree, all relationships can be saved if both parties are wiling to try. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships needs an change in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with building up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, your attitude has allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is broken. But you can mend the fracture.

What was it that you were searching for when you strayed? Was the sex boring? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her appearance?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if everything at home was great. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into relate or something similar
But just understanding isn’t enough. The next step is to take firm action in fixing the problems.

“The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.”

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to empty the rubbish every evening, do it. And, keep doing it. Do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger scheme of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant evidence that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the ‘let down’. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This doesn’t mean that you have to be feeling guilty for ever. though! If she continues to give you the guilt trip it could well mean that she’s never going to be happy with your new arrangement. But you must try to be as understanding as you can

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and become a stronger couple as a result.

Can You Tell If Your Ex Wants You Back?

Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me?
Have you seen that your ex is showing you a little bit of interest? Or do they seem more interested in going out and spending time with you than before, or if you notice signs that your ex is calling you first! or even flirting with you, then it’s fine to be assume that your making some progress, but be careful don’t go jumping the gun. sound familiar? You thinking “does my ex want to get back with me”?

Those points that you may notice are good signs that you Ex interested in getting you back. The best way to play things is cautiously,It’s probably an approach that your ex will best respond to anyway. If you go in too heavy or confident, as you may find your ex pushing you back again. However, if your ex is giving out signs that he or she wants you back, then the odds are, it was you being confident that led to the renewed interest in the first place.

When you break up from a relationship there are certain stages that you will go through, Its only Natural that after a certain period of time you and your ex will be thinking “Does My Ex Want to Get Back With Me”! You’ll both go through a stage of missing each other immensely. This is more apparent in couples that were together for more than a ear or so. Along with missing you comes all the memories and emotions of the times you had and any regrets that may also be surfacing. Chances are your ex is also thinking “Does My Ex Want to Get Back With Me”…

Don’t be fooled as some ex lovers see the aftermath of the break-up as just a playing field a game. They may see that you care for them, and are simply seeking attention and have no real intentions of getting back. So, unless your ex really seems truly interested in spending time with you,They could be just waiting for a better offer to come along or at worst they may see this as away to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on reading into the situation before you act on it.

It’s common, and a lot of people find themselves wondering “does my ex want to get back with me?”, but the truth is, you have to take great care, don’t rush If you dont fully understand the whole situation. The “What and the how” to ensure you stay together if its the right thing to do. take your time to really need in getting back with your Ex is really the best thing to do straight away. More often than not the strategy will be one of caution

10 Q’s to A Marriage Therapist

I found this and thought you may like a little read

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Ask Anything: 10 questions with Chad Jordan, marriage and family therapist

Posted: Mar. 17 12:01 p.m.

What is the best way to pick a marriage counselor? Also, if you know your problems mainly stem from a single area (such as finances, sex, raising children or religion), is it possible to research counselors by specialty? – Greg, Raleigh

Selecting the right therapist can be an arduous task, but it is one of the most important factors for producing positive results. Taking the time to research therapists up front is paramount.

There are many factors to consider in your search, which include, but are not limited to, education and years of experience, licensure, hours and availability, gender of the therapist, type of experience (i.e. percentage of practice working specifically with couple/marital issues), approach to therapy, fees and health plan participation. Typically, therapists have some form of a professional statement to provide detailed information to potential clients.

Technology has afforded the public new opportunities for researching therapists by region and specialty.

The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy has many beneficial resources to assist those seeking assistance on their Web site (www.AAMFT.org). They offer a search engine at therapistlocator.net.

This service provides AAMFT clinical member listings by region so that you may view therapist profiles in your area and contact several to inquire further about specialties, etc.

Most marriage and family therapists will have a general understanding of relational issues and how to address them with you and your partner in therapy. However, specialties will vary, so you may need to ask directly.

Based on your question, for instance, if you and your partner are having trouble with sex specifically a sex therapist may suit you best. Problems with co-parenting or raising your children may warrant someone skilled in parent education or a therapist who offers parenting classes. Concerns with religion suggest a faith-based therapist or one who approaches therapy from spiritual domains.

I cannot stress enough how important the therapeutic relationship is for getting the desired results. Even if you find out after several sessions that you are not connecting with your therapist, express this with them directly and ask for a referral to someone else or get back into search mode and keep looking for a therapist who suits you and your partner.

What is the cost of counseling? – Greg, Garner

Fees for therapy can vary by region, licensure level/credentials and whether or not an insurance plan may be utilized to assist with reimbursement.

Generally, marriage and family therapists’ standard hourly rates range from $75-$125 per hour. Some offer a sliding scale based on the client’s financial situation and many therapists will file insurance for you.

You will need to check with your insurance carrier to determine if marital or family therapy is covered. If so, and the therapist is a participating provider, you will be only be obligated to deductibles and co-pays for sessions. If the therapist is out of network, many plans offer benefits payable to the patient, thus the patient will pay the therapist in full at the time of the visit and then the patient submits an invoice to the insurance carrier for reimbursement.

If your marriage/relationship is having problems with constant fighting, how do you convince the other partner to go to therapy? – Beth, Jacksonville

This is a very good question and one that I get often. It can be difficult in high-conflict relationships to convince a resistant partner to come in for therapy.

I suggest that the willing partner ask the resistant partner, at a time when not in the midst of an argument, if they are satisfied with the quality of the relationship and if they believe that the arguments are productive. Timing of the discussion and presentation from a non-blaming stance are important for motivating the resistant partner.

Depending on how they answer, there may be an opportunity for requesting attendance at therapy sessions to problem solve and find solutions to get more from each other and the relationship in general. Furthermore, I may request a phone consult with the resistant partner to discuss the situation from his or her perspective and provide an overview of what therapy looks like and what to expect. This can reduce the anxiety or resistance to coming.

If they remain resistant, then I will discuss possibilities with the willing participant. We may elect to proceed and conduct individual therapy sessions to address relational issues. However, I typically ask that the individual inform the resistant partner that they will be attending sessions individually and offer a final plea by informing the resistant partner that they will be a topic of discussion in session, saying “Wouldn’t you rather be present in sessions to hear what we are saying and offer your perspective?”

Individual sessions can be beneficial for coping with relational stressors and offering strategies for interacting differently, thereby changing the interpersonal dynamics.

I take the position that for couple/marital counseling to be most effective both partners should be involved in the therapy sessions at the same time.

Therefore, I make explicit my position and I inform clients of the potential challenges with addressing relational issues in individual sessions.

I’ve heard that after a couple has a child, which is notably one of the happiest times in anyone’s life, that the satisfaction and overall happiness in the marriage can dramatically decrease. Is this true, and why is this? What can couples do to sustain their marital happiness after baby? – Iris, Raleigh

Having a child can be one of the most rewarding and gratifying life experiences for a couple, yet the dynamics of the relationship are bound to change. It’s only natural that they do and the couple must be flexible and adjust accordingly.

Satisfaction and overall happiness are contingent upon how the couple navigates the relational factors involved. So, no it is not true that a decline occurs after having a child but novel challenges can emerge.

Having a child presents a new developmental stage for individuals and the couple punctuating a time of change, which influences the structure and rules of any relationship.

When a child enters the picture all attention is typically placed on the child to assure they are cared for and nurtured. This is as it should be.

It can, however, detour focus from the health of the couple/marital unit and requires significant work with open dialogue about thoughts and feelings. There may be issues related to grief/loss of how it once was; one partner may feel left out, not knowing where they fit into the new equation. It is important to feel safe enough to address these feelings directly with each other in a caring and compassionate manner. Guilt can sometimes emerge if one begins to feel jealous of the child. All of this very normal and helpful to share.

Maintaining commitment to the couple/marital relationship is a necessary component not only to the health of the relationship but it is a key factor in the quality of life for the child. Therefore, a balance must be achieved to maintain intimacy and connection with your partner. Maintaining those traditions for closeness as a couple, such date nights, romancing and actively seeking “us time” are key ingredients for success.

Yes, the baby is important but just as the flight attendant says “put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and then your child” such is true with taking care of yourself and the relationship with your spouse.

Years ago, I heard a radio talk show by a reputable psychologist. He said that in order for blended families to be successful, the bond between husband and wife MUST be stronger than parent and child. I have always tried to keep that in mind in difficult times and it has paid off! Would you agree with that advice? Thank you in advance for your response. – Tammy, Fuquay-Varina

Glad to hear that advice paid off for you. I wouldn’t say that the bond between husband and wife MUST necessarily be stronger but I will say that there need to be healthy boundaries.

Many times kids have difficulty adjusting to step-parents and they will naturally “test” the strength of the new parental relationship. There are many reasons that contribute to this but I will not go into detail here. This probability necessitates a strong alliance or bond between the biological parent and step-parent.

The kids need to know and be reassured that they are loved and important but that the marital relationship is going to continue to develop with or without the support of the children. Of course the relationship between the children and step-parent is a very important one, yet setting a healthy boundary between the parent and child is paramount to the family system as a whole.

My wife has gotten fat and now we have no love life. What to do? She doesn’t seem interested in losing weight. – Luke, Cary

Tough question but the short answer is that she is your wife and supporting her with patience and acceptance is key to the relationship and your love life.

She is probably aware of the changes with her body and you have probably changed in ways as well. Change is inevitable and flexibility is required to adapt/adjust towards a healthy relationship.

If she’s not interested in losing weight, what is she interested in doing? Have you guys talked about the changes with your love life? If not, I would suggest doing so and setting mutual goals to improve it. Are you both eating healthy, talking care of yourselves as individuals and as a couple? Bodies will change and unfortunately it’s usually not for the better, so, if that is the foundation of the marriage then there may be bigger problems.

I hear your concern about the decline in your love life and I would say it is not all your wife’s weight causing the change. It may be a contributor but I’d suggest directing your attention at what’s going on in the relationship, not just with her body.

Have you ever counseled couples that were involved in an open marriage? What is your opinion of open relationships and can they be successful? – Julianne, Raleigh

I have limited experience with couples involved in open marriages.

My belief is that open relationships add a different set of challenges, when compared to conventional marriage, that the couple must continually sort through to assure clarity of rules and boundaries.

I do not judge how people choose to live their lives and I will work with couples to identify what works for the unique set of circumstances that the couple presents in therapy.

Open marriages add a significant gray area when compared with monogamous couples because the couple may be dealing with multiple intimate sexual partners at once. The physical and emotional experience attributed to sexual relationships and intimacy is complex, and determining what constitutes an affair/betrayal with the primary relationship can be dicey. It can be difficult to gauge when an extra-marital relationship is acceptable and when it has crossed the line, even with mutually agreed upon, clearly articulated rules and boundaries.

In my opinion, it is possible to have a positive relational experience, but if a couple chooses to have an open marriage they should prepare accordingly and be aware of the potential risks, which include emotional reactivity with primary and secondary partners and STDs.

I am married. My husband works and I stay at home with our newborn baby. I have no plans at this time to go back to work as we have agreed it is best for me to stay at home with our baby. Sometimes I feel guilty about not working while my husband works all the time. We sometimes have arguments about money and how I don’t have a job, but deep down we both know that me staying home is the best thing right now. Do you have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation? I think the lower income we have now due to me not working is causing some of the stress but we could not afford daycare if I went back to work. – Janice, Creedmoor

Sounds like you guys are in agreement that one person staying home and one going to a place of work suits the family.

I hear you when you say you feel guilty but my guess is that you are doing quite a bit of work at home. Taking care of a baby is no easy task. Remind yourself at times when you are feeling guilty that you have a full-time job that contributes just as much to the family as monetary income.

Arguments will happen and, given the state of the economy, financial issues remain at the top of the list for marital conflict.

Keep checking in regularly on the matter to assure you are on the same page. If you are still in agreement, then your guilt is doing no good and it is best to focus on your job: taking care of the little one.

Your job at home can also include finding ways to save money through use of coupons and economical shopping. Sit down and plan out short- and long-term financial goals so you know what you are both working towards as a team and clarify your roles. Determine when and if it would be appropriate for you to take on some part-time employment and put your child in part-time daycare.

If you say to yourself that not working is the source of stress, then I can see how guilt gets you. I think best to say to yourself and your spouse that the financial situation is stressful right now and we are doing the best we can as a couple to make it work. If during your regular check in, your husband expresses that you should look into getting a job outside of the home, or if you desire employment, this will change the circumstances significantly and require adjustment.

My husband and I have been married for 13 years. He has a job that comes with plenty of stress. Recently his business has had some financial difficulties and aside from him not ever being home, he has started being very secretive. I have caught him subscribing to a porn Web site, confronted him and cleared that up. Now I have just found out that he is hiding the fact that he is smoking cigars. Fine, do it to relax. My question is, why be so secretive about things? I think it’s fine to do things to help you relax, but why porn? If he wants to smoke a cigar, don’t lie about it. He told me he did not purchase it, it was given to him, then I found out he did in fact make the purchase himself. Who cares, just why the lying???? How do I get my point across that I don’t have a problem with this, just don’t lie to me? He often lies about other things as well, nothing that means a darn, just stupid things. How do I change this?? – Amy, Bahama

Sounds like you are a very accommodating and understanding person, which may confuse you even more about his behavior. It may not be anything you are doing or not doing that results in his tendency to stray from the truth.

Lying is the identifiable behavior that is bothering you and it sounds like you noticed and related the behavior to his business and financial stressors, which you can always explore with him. Either way, the behavior must be confronted and addressed for the health of your relationship.

You may not be able to change his behavior, but you can be firm on what is unacceptable for you, what you expect him to work on and let him know how you can support him in dealing with this behavior that impacts the relationship. Trust is a key ingredient to successful marriages and it is hard to have trust without truth.

What advice do you give to engaged couples preparing for marriage? – Kristie, Cary

What an important question. Couples preparing for marriage should consider many variables that influence long-term compatibility. Ask how you envision your lives as individuals coming together as a couple. Understanding what makes each other tick, good sex and having a partner who “gets” you can take you a long way but some clear-cut details should be considered when taking the big step.

The following questions are a start to assure you are preparing for marriage.

• What are your individual goals and can your partner support and admire your aspirations?
• What are your mutual goals, your vision as a couple?
• Do you want kids? How many? What if you can’t have kids?
• What religious affiliation, if any, will you ascribe to?
• How does the extended family of each partner contribute to the health of the relationship and where might there be potential challenges?
• What is the current financial situation of each individual (currently in school, outstanding debts, bad credit etc.) and what are the mutual financial goals for the couple?
• Where do you plan on living?
• How do you communicate and resolve conflict?

Marriage and family therapists, counselors and clergy offer classes, workshops and/or couple sessions to address pre-marital planning.

Marriage can be a truly gratifying experience and you have to embrace all of the pleasures and rewarding times. You must also know how to navigate the challenging times together. Many changes will occur during your marriage both individually and as a couple that require work, open communication and flexibility. You can never completely prepare but the very fact that you are asking this question tells me you are on the right track.

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• American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
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Can I Stop My Divorce – Its Up To You

Can I Stop My Divorce – Its Up To You

March 8, 2009 | By Brahem | In Stop Divorce Tips

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I stop my divorce? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have.

It Can Be Rescued

The initial thought is counselling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage and stop a divorce, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to “save my marriage and stop my divorce” and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you’ll realize it is possible to “save my marriage and stop my divorce.”

It Can't Work without Talking

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained.

The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can “save my marriage and stop my divorce.” Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to “save my marriage and stop my divorce.”

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don’t abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to “save my marriage and stop my divorce.”

Click for more "Save My Marriage" tips

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counselling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can “save my marriage and stop my divorce.”

Discover the hidden reason why your spouse wanted to leave. It is crucial for you to understand these reasons, it is because of these reasons that relationships are severed. Visit http://savemarriagehowto.com/go/makingupmagic-4.html.

DO NOT Miss Your Time To Smile Together Again

A Q&A on Obama\’s Rescue Plan

NOT All Marriage, But Views aI had to share concerning relationships

Q. and A.: Obama’s Housing Rescue Plan

New York Times – United States
Conservatives can go around talking about gay marriage and government encouraging lifestyle choices, but here is a real-life example of government pushing a …

Strained marriages ‘harm women’

More TLC Is Called For

Women are more likely than men to suffer damage to their health from being in a strained marriage, research suggests.

US psychologists found wives in tense marriages were prone to risk factors for heart disease, stroke and diabetes.

In comparison, husbands seemed relatively immune from such problems.

Details of the study, based on 276 couples who had been married for an average of 20 years were presented to the American Psychosomatic Society.

Each couple filled out questionnaires designed to assess the good and bad aspects of married life.

METABOLIC SYNDROME High blood pressure Bulging waistline High blood sugar High triglyceride levels Low levels of “good” cholesterol

They were also rated for how depressed they appeared to be, based on their self-reported symptoms. Doctors then carried out a battery of tests to assess whether or not the volunteers were showing signs of metabolic syndrome – a collection of symptoms pointing to a raised risk of serious disease, such as heart problems.

Women in strained marriages were more likely to be depressed and to have a greater number of symptoms of metabolic syndrome.

But although husbands in unhappy marriages were also depressed, they did not show signs of physiological damage to their health.

Researcher Nancy Henry, from the University of Utah, said the team had expected to find that negative aspects of a bad marriage, such as arguing and being angry, would translate into both mental and physical problems for both sexes.

Much more to learn

She said: “We found this was true for wives in this study, but not for husbands.

“The gender difference is important because heart disease is the number-one killer of women as well as men, and we are still learning a lot about how relationship factors and emotional distress are related to heart disease.”

Professor Tim Smith, who co-led the research, said there was good evidence that a healthy diet and regular exercise could reduce a woman’s risk of metabolic syndrome.

However, he said: “It’s a little premature to say they would lower their risk of heart disease if they improved the tone and quality of their marriages – or dumped their husbands.

“The immediate implication is that if you are interested in your cardiovascular risk – and we all should be because it is the leading killer for both genders – we should be concerned about not just traditional risk factors such as blood pressure and cholesterol but the quality of our emotional and family lives.“

Christine Northam, a counsellor for the charity Relate, said there was plenty of evidence that people in a stable, happy relationship enjoyed both good health and a longer life expectancy.

She said: “The gender difference could be partly due to the fact that women’s hormonal profile is more complex than men’s.

“Women also tend to worry more about their health than men.”

1st-year-marriage

Surviving marriage: The first year

Here’s some advice on settling down with your new spouse from the book “How to Survive Your Marriage” (Hundreds of Heads Books), straight from people who’ve done it:

“Get at least some new furniture together as you decorate your house. Even if you have what you need by combining stuff, buy something small. We threw out both of our coffee tables, got a new one, and added some throw pillows to the couch. It was just nice to have something that had no memories for either one of us except for the memories we were making together. – Luz, San Diego “Give, give and give.

Avoid criticism at all costs. Show appreciation all the time. Remember a primary goal of marriage is to heal the wounds of childhood and each person needs to be understood from that perspective. Only by having compassion and providing a safe environment with open communication can love grow.” A.N.P., Pittsburgh “

To all women: Men will forever be interested in sports. Just because they want to watch sports on TV doesn’t mean they don’t love you or care about your day. If you learn this right away it will save a lot of fighting.” – Gerry, Chicago “

Learn to speak his language! I’m American. My husband is Belgian. I learned French so that I could understand him better. It really impressed his parents, too!” – Wendy, Miami “

Don’t leave your single friends out of your new married life. You’ll be the one who loses out in the end. After the rush of being a newlywed wears off, you won’t always want to be around your husband, and you’ll want to go do fun things with just your girlfriends. Other married friends might be hard to drag out, especially once they’ve got kids. And your single friends are the ones you’ll want to turn to!” – C.H., Los Angeles “

Don’t force your husband to live in a flowery, girly house. My poor husband suffered in silence for years till he finally admitted he hated the bedroom, and that it totally turned him off. He joked that that was why we always had sex with the lights off. We went out and bought a more neutral set that we both liked, and we started keeping the lights on!” – Jill H., New York “

Until you get married, you may not have seen this person at their absolute worst, like when they just got home from work after a rough day and an even rougher commute. It’s when you try to see where the other person is coming from and learn to accommodate each other’s moods that you accept your spouse’s flaws and realize that you have some of your own that he’s dealing with as well.” – Lindsey Gawron Caldwell, Arlington, Va.

Hundreds of Heads Books’ survival guides offer the wisdom of the masses by assembling the experiences and advice of hundreds of people who have gone through life’s biggest challenges and have insight to share. Visit www.hundredsofheads.com to share your advice or get more information.

Some nice Quotes eh… I just put some links in to make sure you can keep the love alive. Even thought the squidoo lens is “ex back” the book “Get Your Ex Back” is all about relationship strenthening as-well

A Relationship Rescue – Can You Be Trusted?

Stem the tide

Ever felt like your partner is not so interested in you or the relationship anymore? How do you stop that love from slipping away, how can you start the relationship rescue? If you can underpin the trust between you two, your bond will strengthen and ultimately lead you onto the road to recovery. You and your partner to become closer and blossom again.

1. Know your habits - What is the attraction that people see in each other. I remember that when I first met my partner I loved so much how she was so open and honest. nobody was judged on looks or stereotyped and that I loved. That part of her was very predictable. Because The behaviour fits what I expect my trust in her is reinforced. and is so every time that she does some thing predictable. Don’t switch and think your spicing things up. what you really do is destabilize the trust between you.
2. Believe what I say - Ever looked someone  whilst they were saying something and thought to yourself  “I don’t believe a word your saying”. Me too. Why is that? It’s more than likely because your words only add up to about 30% of the communication, body language is a huge part of how we interpret what we are saying to them. If your honest even when it hurts  your words will always match your actions.
3. No secrets - You only destroy a relationship with secrets. There is always somewhere down the road when something slips out! It always happens, you  know it does. Avoid putting the relationship into such jeopardy and don’t keep secrets. If you do, and  continue to keep secrets you will fail in relationship rescue.
4. Open your head - Did you ever lie in bed and you want to, but not cuddle up  and whisper to your partner that you love them. Do you sometimes find yourself agreeing to go to shopping when you would really rather go roller-skate or to the movies or something? What do we fear the most? is it rejection or is it that simply someone may not have the same opinion as us! don’t let you partner guess what you want make sure your needs are always clear too.
5. Saying NO is OK - I always to support what my partners wants and needs, but sometimes we don’t agree or want  the same thing. If that’s your opinion then share it, you’ll feel better for it and gain respect for it, nobody wants anybody who is too easy to dominate. fine , It’s cool to have an opinion of your own. You haven’t got to say yes to everything. If you have an
6. Show some faith - you need to believe and show that you believe your partner is competent. Only as equals, that’s how you will develop a strong and trusting bond, if you treat each other s equals and understand that intellect cannot be questioned. How would you feel if someone thought to be a bit slow or dim?

I think I may know what your feeling now. “you can see how the road ahead may be a little rough”. It’s true putting faith and trust back into a relationship isn’t easy, you will make it happen, it just won’t be as difficult or take as long as you think. as you put one of the tasks behind you everything else falls into place a lot quicker. The foundations are crucial get started on the right Way to relationship rescue.